


now that i see you

by besidemethewholedamntime



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Missing Scene, spoilers for aos series finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25923838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/besidemethewholedamntime/pseuds/besidemethewholedamntime
Summary: *contains spoilers for the series finale*'“I know you,” Jemma says, her voice a soft whisper. “Isn’t that strange? As soon as I saw you I knew you. It feels like I’ve known you my whole life.”'A moment between Jemma and her baby.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 32
Kudos: 122





	now that i see you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back again! I know I just posted yesterday but I wrote this today and I was just so excited and wanted to share it so I hope you don't mind seeing me two days in a row. 
> 
> I wrote something like this back in 2018 from Fitz's pov, and was going to rewrite one to make it fit with canon, but upon rereading it realised I'd left it vague so it completely works with canon. So I decided to write Jemma's. It's literally just a soft moment between Jemma and her baby girl and a way of me dealing with all my emotions through fic. 
> 
> The fic I wrote two years ago is called 'The Wonder of it All' in case anybody would like to read that one. 
> 
> Title is from 'I See The Light' from Tangled ... this is what happens when you listen to the song before you fall asleep. 
> 
> I hope everyone is holding up okay from the finale, and I hope you enjoy this!

The thing about space is that there is no time, so Jemma has no idea whether it is early or late as she lays in their bed, holding their newborn baby girl in her arms. She doesn’t know if it’s been hours or minutes since she was placed there, and honestly, she doesn’t care. Right now, she would be perfectly happy to take this moment and live in it forever.

“Hello, you,” Jemma says softly as her daughter snuffles a little and opens her eyes. “It’s so very good to meet you.”

She’s not accustomed to holding children, and during these seemingly never-ending months of pregnancy, it had become one of many irrational fears. _What if I don’t know how to hold them, Fitz?_ she had cried into his shoulder once, voice full of terror. _What if I drop them?_

 _You have never failed at one thing in your life_ , he’d said quite firmly, though he’d been rubbing her back in slow, comforting circles. _There is no way you will fail at holding a baby._

Looking back on that moment now feels so silly with her daughter now safely in her arms as though she’s always belonged there. Jemma knows all about intuition and instinct in parenting, but she just never imagined how it would _feel._ Their daughter hasn’t been in the world a full day yet, and already the time before her arrival is growing fuzzy, fading away into irrelevance. In this moment she cares very little of all that has come before.

She runs a gentle finger over their daughter’s forehead, her nose, her chin. Impossibly small and incredibly perfect. Their daughter’s blue eyes follow her movement, but she doesn’t cry or give any other indication of upset. She watches her mother, just as her mother watches her.

“I know you,” Jemma says, her voice a soft whisper. “Isn’t that strange? As soon as I saw you I knew you. It feels like I’ve known you my whole life.”

Ever since they have known they were going to become parents, Jemma has loved her daughter, and what has surprised her is how it is so different from the way she loves Fitz. He is her best-friend, her partner, her soulmate, he always will be, and she loves him endlessly. Or she thought she did. Looking down now into this tiny face, each detail already committed to memory, she knows that it’s not quite true. As much as she loves Fitz, she will forever love their daughter more, and there’s nothing within her that makes her sorry for that.

He feels the same way, she knows he does. In those precious few moments just after their daughter was born, Jemma had caught him looking at her with an indescribable look in his face. It’s a look that Jemma’s only caught in flashes over the years, a moment seen out of the corner of her eye before it disappeared. When they were standing in front of the sunrise. When he told her she was something magnificent. When she found him in space, and then again the second time. When she married him. That look that does such funny things to her heart but that she’s never caught more than a glimpse of in all the years she’s known him.

When he had held their daughter for the first time she had seen it clearly for what it was. A thousand other things, but the greatest of these was love. Pure and simple love that asked of nothing in return. That look that she’s felt on her skin all these years in flashes was now being given completely unreservedly to their child, and Fitz’s heart, which once had its home with Jemma, now fully belonged to their daughter.

“You are so perfect,” she says now. “So beautiful.” The baby looks up at her, slowly blinking. “Magnificent.”

How fitting it is that she was born in space, all of the majesty of the cosmos lying before them. All those years ago when she hoped of finding something magnificent, she never could have dreamed it would be their daughter. But it makes sense now, it all completely makes sense. There is nothing more magnificent than her.

Jemma looks to Fitz, who sits in the floor next to the bed, back against the wall. Giving them space, but also unable to be parted from them even just into the other room, he’d sat there and tried his hardest to stay awake. It had been in vain, however, and his eyes had shut not long after. His breathing is deep and even, but she knows even the slightest noise would wake him and he’d be by her side in an instant. He deserves a rest, and Jemma, who up until now has had the most intimate bond with her daughter, would just like a moment before she has to let that go.

“It might be a little strange around here at first. Well, not for you I suppose. This is all you’ll have known. But for us it might take some adjusting, so if you could just bear with us until we do, that would be great.”

It’s not how she wanted to do it. She wanted to be retired from SHIELD first and be free from the danger and uncertainty that had followed her and Fitz for so long. She wanted to have a house first, and a big garden that her child could run around and play in. It would have been nice to have her parents there. She hasn’t seen or even spoken to them in so long. It feels cruel to have kept this away from them, even though she knows there was no other way. Her mum and dad, who have always given her so much and encouraged her to chase every opportunity she had. What would they make of all this?

She understands them more now than she ever has before. To love your child is to want them to have the things you never did, and for them to find the world in a better place than before. This may not be how she would have chosen it, but it’s the way it’s happened and Fitz is right – they do deserve to take some time and just _be._ Of course they will save their friends and the world, but their daughter now comes before all that. She deserves some time to just grow, and they deserve that time with her. In case the worst does happen when they have to return to their mission, Jemma wants to ensure that their daughter knows them. She won’t let them become a ghost in a photograph or a voice in a half-faded memory. Unable to give their daughter everything she would like to at this moment, she will damn well give her that.

“I’m afraid I don’t have very much practice with babies,” she says. “Neither of us do. But we’ll figure it out, alright? You don’t ever have to worry about a thing because we’ll fix it together. Just like always.”

She glances over at Fitz. Dear, sweet Fitz who has always been by her side. They have been torn apart so many times, but just one more and then that’s it. They’re done.

“We’ll love you forever,” Jemma says, needing it to be said. “You never have to keep secrets from us, and we’ll never keep them from you. You can always tell us anything.” She laughs a little. “I promise you there’s not a lot that can shock us anymore.”

Shock, no, but surprise? She is surprised every time she wakes up and finds Fitz still next to her, one arm curled around her so he can feel if she moves in the night. She was constantly surprised all the way through her pregnancy, from the little kicks and lazy somersaults she felt. She is surprised now every time her heart beats, because it beats with so much love for this tiny being whose very existence in this world is nothing short of a miracle.

“There’s so much I want to share with you and tell you about how we got here.” Jemma sniffs, but a tear falls on their daughter’s forehead anyway. Gently she wipes it away with her thumb, and their baby just keeps on looking upwards, completely enchanted.

“It took us such a long time, but we made it. I’ll tell you all about it someday, about how once upon a time there were two young scientists who embarked on the biggest adventure, and how it changed their whole lives forever.”

Sixteen and achingly shy, to having a daughter in the sky. _Is the ride worth it?_ she once asked. Oh yes it is, she wants to tell her younger self. It’s worth everything you’ve ever done or had done to you. You will get there one day. Just hold on, and keep holding on tight.

“The important bit, though, the only part you need to know right now, is that they loved each other. They loved each other more than there are words or stars, and their love was so big it could overcome anything that was in their way. And a love like that, stronger than any curse, brought them you.”

Their baby shifts and Jemma feels her heart flip over on itself. She holds her closer, knowing that she is living in a moment that is already a memory.

“You are extraordinary. No matter what you do or who you become, know you always will be.”

She’s crying now, but from the sheer happiness she feels inside her heart. The complete and utter joy that this small being who is half her and half Fitz and just wholly herself exists. Softly she kisses her on the forehead, looking down into those eyes that already seem wise beyond their years, as if they hold the secrets to the entire universe.

“You’re our everything,” she says thickly, trying so very hard not to sob and wake up Fitz. She doesn’t want to worry him. “The biggest star in star in all of the skies. We’ll make it all better for you. Just you wait and see.”

Once upon a time she said that the answer was in the stars, and only now does she realise just how right she was. Their daughter is the answer to every question she could ever have, the reason for every decision ever made. She is the beat in their hearts and the breath in their lungs. She is the promise of a brighter, better future to be made, where they can all go on despite their losses.

The brightest star in all of their skies, she is what they are fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to leave kudos/comments. Please feel free not to. Either way, I hope you're all having a lovely day and are safe and well <3


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